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Ep151: What I Learned Failing the NCLEX® 3 Times (RN . . . More Than an Abbreviation)

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This is one of the most motivating episodes we have ever recorded.

Ashley emailed me about a year ago and told me that she had failed NCLEX 3 times and was feeling completely deflated.  At that time, I recorded a podcast episode for her.

At that time she was sobbing and unsure if she should even continue on her path in nursing. Prior to this she was sure that nursing was her calling . . . how could she be failing!

Just about a week ago she reached out to me again with the subject line in her email: RN . . . More Than an Abbreviation

 

RELATED ARTICLE: Ep170: How Many Times Can I Fail the NCLEX®? (a practical guide)

 

Ashley’s Story

 

Failed NCLEX® Three Times . . . So What!

I was hooked!   I had to read more.  Ashley had passed the NCLEX on her forth attempt.  The journey to passing was not a short one.  She spent over a year going through failure.  She had to tell a nurse manager 3 times that she had failed.  She watched classmates and friends passing and starting jobs.

Why is this so motivating to me?  Ashley’s approach to this trial is what truly makes her stand out and makes me feel confident that she will be a phenomenal nurse and do so much for our profession.

This is not an uncommon concern with nursing students.  We get emails like this so often.  The NCLEX is simply a beast and a complicated test . . . and shows very little how you will do as a nurse.

 

Here are the resources she recommends:

Ashley and I are kindred spirits when it comes to mnemonics, goals, and how to show compassion to patients.

What Didn’t Work for Ashley:

  • Mnemonics
  • Kaplan
  • Hurst
  • ATI

 

RELATED ARTICLE: Ep47: How to Dissect an NCLEX® Question Practicing NCLEX Questions

 

One method we suggest is practicing NCLEX® questions as much as possible.  The more comfortable you are with the format of the questions, the less random and weird they will feel on test day.

We created a resource to provide you unlimited NCLEX Questions is Nursing Practice Questions by NRSNG . . . check it out.

Try NPQ

Lindsay’s Story

 

Failed the NCLEX® twice, but my third time felt easy!

 

We recently got an e-mail from an NRSNG user who shared this!!

Hi there! I just wanted to say thank you. I passed my NCLEX exam on the third try using NRSNG! I got 75 questions and 24 SATAs questions I walked out of the testing centre knowing I passed! The NCLEX felt easy! I will defiantly be telling any nursing student about you guys!

We had to know more, so we reached out and asked her how she did it.  What did she do to make that third attempt successful?  We heard back and this is her story:

Tell us about yourself

I’m a Canadian nurse so the NCLEX was new to me.  The first time I took it I failed at 75 questions, second time I also failed at 265 questions.

 

I was determined to pass this time! In Canada we are only allowed 3 attempts at the nclex! (Scary) but I did it!

How did you pass that third time?

I started a study group with a friend of mine who also was a repeat test taker we studied every Tuesday and Thursday together. I did NRSNG all the courses, I would do one course at a time, then do practice questions

 

I also did uworld my average on uworld was in the 99th percentile and my rank with NRSNG was number 2! I studied on average 6 days a week for about 6 hours a day. I was determined to pass this time!

And how did the NCLEX go on your third attempt?

The day of my NCLEX I walked in the test centre knowing I would pass, 75 questions later and 24 SATAS the computer shut off and I knew I had passed the NCLEX!

 

The NCLEX felt easy to me this time. Had to wait 9 days to get my official results but I got the four letter word I was hoping for PASS! and I also got to add two more letters behind my last name RN! thanks again for everything! I will defiantly be telling everyone about NRSNG.
Thank you

 

RELATED ARTICLE: Ep237: How to Answer Any SATA Question (the SATA Success Pyramid)

 

Did Ashley’s or Lindsay’s Stories Help You?

If Ashley’s story resonates with you or helps you . . . please share your thoughts and story below.

 

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Podcast Transcription

I almost think of my experience as in like a really rough storm, like in a boat. You can’t have a perfect storm, to be a skilled sailor. Whatever purpose it was for me to fail the NCLEX three times, it really has blessed me. I feel like a better woman from it, after a year. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but really I do. I feel like it strengthened me.

Jon (Male): What is up in NRSNG community? Today I’m just beyond excited to bring you this episode. This is an interview that I did with a member of the NRSNG community. About a year ago a nursing student named Ashley reached out to me and said that she had failed the NCLEX three times and she was just beaten down and didn’t know what to do next. I recorded an episode for her and wrote a blog post about failing the NCLEX three times and my tips and my suggestions for how to pass.

About two weeks ago I got another email from Ashley. She wasn’t sure if I would remember her. She said, “Hey, I passed the NCLEX. I’m moving on. I got this license.” The very nature of her email, she said RN more than an abbreviation. She wrote what it meant to her to pass the NCLEX, what it meant to her to be a nurse. Very quickly after reading that email, I responded to her very quickly and I said, “Hey I would love to have you on the podcast if you’re willing.”  So many stude struggle with this. I get emails all the time from students who are failing the NCLEX or debating giving up on nursing, giving up on their dream. What I got from Ashley is I could tell that she was just so dedicated to this profession, just from the email. We’d never spoken before.

When I got on the podcast with her last night, or the episode and started recording and talking with her, I found that she is such a motivated, positive person. She’s going to do a lot of good in nursing. She was so excited to come on to just share her story that it might be able to help one other student out there who might be struggling. If this episode does help you, if this resonates with you, I would ask you to go over to NRSNG.com/Ashley and just leave a comment for her. Tell her that it helped. Tell her that it did something for you. Ask her a question. She would love to hear from you guys and hear how her experience might help you to get some confidence. NRSNG.com/Ashley when you have some time.

If this episode also helps, please share it with somebody, please leave a comment in iTunes, leave a comment on a blog, share it with somebody. There’s a little arrow in your podcast player where you can share it with somebody through text or email.

This was such a motivating podcast for me. After we talked I told her, “You’ve got me motivated to go do something great.” She’s just so full of energy and excitement for nursing. Just imagine, she had a job at one of the top hospitals in the country, she had graduated with a 3.8 GPA from one of the top nursing schools in Colorado and then she fails the NCLEX. She has to call this hospital, tell them that she had failed, she had to tell her friends that are all getting nursing jobs and working that she had failed. Then she goes and take the test again, fails again, and has to tell everybody again and again and again, and finally passes it. It’s just such an exciting story so, with that I want to bring you this episode. Again, if this helps you in anyway, please head over to NRSNG.com/Ashley and just tell her how it’s helped you. Thanks for joining us today. This is Jon with the NRSNG podcast.

Today I’m excited to talk to Ashley. Ashley reached out to me about a year ago after she had failed the NCLEX three times. I actually did a podcast episode for her back then and also a blog post. Just a couple weeks ago I got another email from her with some exciting news. I just wanted to share that with you and have her reach out and tell her story about the NCLEX and her nursing journey. Welcome, Ashley. Thanks for coming on.

Ashley (Female): No problem.

Jon (Male): I want to share, about a year ago I got the following email from you. You said, “I have now failed the NCLEX three times. I have a job. I’m a smart woman and graduated with honors from nursing school. I’m incredibly frustrated at this point. What would you recommend to a nursing student in my position?” When I got that email it really stuck out to me because I had worked with a lot of nurses that had failed multiple times and then I saw students that had failed. It just really seems like it drug them down. Some people would even reach out to me and say they had failed and they had thought about getting out of nursing. Tell me how you felt a year ago when you failed for the third time.

Ashley (Female): I remember writing this email to you and I was just leaping in the library because I thought boy my computer had broke. So I was sitting in this little box, just typing away and I was miserable. I really honestly thought, I thought this was my calling for so long. Nursing was what I wanted to do. For four years I had worked so hard and I was unsure, should I change my career? Should I do something else? I honestly in desperation I wrote out to you. It felt terrible.

Jon (Male): I can only imagine. I remember walking out of taking the NCLEX and I called my wife right away and I was like, “I really have no clue if I passed or not. I don’t have a clue.”

Ashley (Female): Exactly. You really have no idea and you feel so gross about it, almost.

Jon (Male): Absolutely.

Ashley (Female): I remember, I’ll walk you through the first time I failed. I decided I would run ten miles and I cried the whole time and I just remember I’m like, “I want to die.” I just don’t understand. I thought I knew so much and for some reason I was like, “Wow I failed and the rest of my class was successful. Why am I going through this?” Maybe I was too confident. I thought I was the bee’s knees and thought I could do anything. It just sucker punched me.

Jon (Male): I can imagine. Before we started recording you told me, you had done well in school. You were a 3.8 student like a lot of us. It’s not like you went into the NCLEX unprepared or you were a bad student that just got lucky through school. It sounds like you worked really hard.

Ashley (Female): Yeah. I did. I would consider myself a [trotterd 00:07:21]. I worked really hard and talent has come a little bit, but it’s mostly just work ethic that keeps me going
Jon (Male): That’s awesome. About a week ago Ashley reached out to me again and this is the email she wrote. She said, “I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m the woman who wrote a message about failing the NCLEX three times and having a job offer. Well I wanted to tell you thank you for your help with NCLEX process and podcast. I took all your advice, I had some suffering months, but I did make it out alive. I finally passed the NCLEX my fourth time and this one abbreviation means more to me than you will ever know. I’m so grateful and bless to have had this experience. I’ve grown from my one year of NCLEX trials. I cannot thank you enough for your advice and optimism. I will be starting my new job in the cardiac surgery PCU. I will continue to keep in touch and listen to your engaging, motivating podcast.” Beyond that, the subject line that you chose was: RN … more than an abbreviation. That just really stuck out to me. I had to dig into the email right away. I could tell that this was someone that just resonated with what we’re trying to do here at NRSNG. That this just isn’t some thing that we do. Tell me about that email that you wrote this week and how that felt.

Ashley (Female): I finally realized after a couple weeks that I should reach out to you. Like, this is time, I’m like maybe he would know or maybe he would kind of remember me. After this, I pretty much took a year of self discovery through this whole NCLEX process. I really truly believe nurses, we know suffering. We’re fully aware of how precious each moment life is. It’s just a huge commitment and it’s more than just the title. It really is. You take on a huge life change to be a nurse. Whether you touch someone’s life or a life will touch yours, you make an impact every day. That’s why to me it’s more than an abbreviation. It’s a whole life change.

Jon (Male): Absolutely. Do you feel that this process has made it mean more to you or do you think that it always meant the same thing?

Ashley (Female): Oh no. It means so much more. I truly meant what I wrote. I think people take for granted what it is to be a registered nurse. For me I’m like, gosh I worked so hard. I mean I felt like it did a full time job, trying to study for this one test that is terrible. The devil, really.

Jon (Male): It really is. It really is.

Ashley (Female): Still I mean the fourth time I walked out and to me it felt different. I’m like, “Oh maybe I passed it this time.” I think back and I still didn’t know half the things. I just really critically thought about each answer and how to be a safe and effective nurse. It’s nothing like the real world.

Jon (Male): It’s nothing like the real world. That’s the thing. If you’ve spent time in the hospital you’ll probably do worse on the NCLEX, I think. The one thing they care about is being a safe nurse. That is important in the real world, but what they assume is that everything is perfect and-

Ashley (Female): Mm-hmm (affirmative)- a perfect world.

Jon (Male): All they care about is are you going to choose the safest thing. They want to make sure that you’re not going to kill somebody, but in a perfect world sometimes there’s grey areas.

Ashley (Female): Right. People will die.

Jon (Male): People die.

Ashley (Female): That happens.

Jon (Male): Absolutely.

Ashley (Female): That sounds terrible.

Jon (Male): No, it is. Absolutely. We know your story a little bit and we’ll get into this a little bit more, but tell us a little bit about who you are and why you chose to become a nurse.

Ashley (Female): Okay. I am 25. I am a twin, Caucasian, female and my sister and I are both very driven, determined, highly motivated individuals. Nursing is actually my second degree.

Jon (Male): Yeah. Me too.

Ashley (Female): I started with dietetics and realized that I wanted something more. I stayed in the health field but I truly found nursing because my grandma is really stubborn and she pushed me to become a nurse. She always told me it was my calling and I should try it. I just didn’t listen to her. Then one day I decided I should do it. I love people, I’m selfless. I just want to love people at their weakest moments. Maybe this will be for me. My first day I remember I walked into our classroom and there was this girl in yellow, this yellow sweater, which ended up being my best girlfriend, Shannon. We hit it off right away and I finally realized in the whole room that this whole entire time these are my people, I finally found myself and I found where I fit. After that I was like yep, this is where I am meant to be.

Jon (Male): That’s cool.

Ashley (Female): It was the coolest feeling.

Jon (Male): That’s cool. I feel like I had somewhat of a similar experience. Nursing was like my second or third career. I didn’t go in until I was later in life. I think, too, it was kind of the same feeling, like I grew so close to the people I was in school with. We each had a different reason for going into nursing, but we all had at the core that we wanted to help people in some way. I think that common goal and then how difficult nursing can be, you really grow incredibly close to those people. I still-

Ashley (Female): It’s almost a family.

Jon (Male): It is. I still stay in touch with everybody. We’re still Facebook friends, and message and keep up with each others’ lives and their kids and everything, years later.

Ashley (Female): Oh of course.

Jon (Male): Dietetics that’s cool. My wife is actually a dietitian.

Ashley (Female): Oh, is she?

Jon (Male): Yes. She is. She works in ICU as well. She does [peritrol 00:13:53] nutrition and stuff like that.

Ashley (Female): Yeah TPN.

Jon (Male): TPN’s, all those. She loves it. It’s really nice having that we both have that ICU thing we can talk about, because death does happen and you need a way to cope with it and we have each other we can talk about it with and it’s nice. Tell us, what do you want to do with nursing? Why nursing? Beyond just caring for people and stuff, why did you want to be a nurse?

Ashley (Female): I guess, I’ve taken care of people my whole life and it almost became just a natural thing for me. I fell in love with it. It’s weird to say that for a career, but I have a huge passion for it. I think sometimes in college, students are trying things out and don’t really know where they fit. For me it just became such a priority to me, it wasn’t hard to study because I enjoyed it so much. I think about my ambitious goals with nursing and where I want to be and a lot of it just reflects on the people. I just want to love people and take care of them and know that they matter and that they care.

Jon (Male): That’s cool.

Ashley (Female): I think in a way once you become a nursing student you kind of lose that connection with people and you still need that as a bedside nurse. You definitely need to be strong and intelligent, but compassion can really be a huge [inaudible 00:15:39] to nursing.

Jon (Male): Yes. Absolutely. Did you ever work as a tech or anything like that while you were in school?

Ashley (Female): Yep. I worked in the nursing home and I loved that job. Then I worked in the hospital for two years as a tech. I’m kind of an adrenaline junkie so I was in the emergency department for a little bit and just, I loved it. The whole experience. The whole journey has been great. Hard. Painful.

Jon (Male): Yes, but like you said, that compassion, I think is what, and that’s kind of cliché almost to even say it, but the compassion, just being able to explain to people in a way that they can understand. I had nurse Nicole on here a week or two ago and we talked about that too, that the compassion and reaching out to people and explaining to them what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, not only helps them but it really makes the whole process better for them, it makes their whole experience in the health care system better for them, rather than just rushing through the process and trying to get your job done.

Ashley (Female): It makes a person matter. You’re not a robot. You have a check list of things you need to do but when it comes down to it, the patients are talking to you. They’re not talking to the doctor most of the time.

Jon (Male): For sure. Exactly.

Ashley (Female): They want to trust you and so you have to build that relationship.

Jon (Male): Absolutely. What are your future plans with nursing? What do you want to do in a couple years? Five years? Ten years?

Ashley (Female): I’m going into cardiac and I have to be trained as part of my job, since I’m a new grad now. Yay. I have to do ICU-

Jon (Male): Oh that’s cool.

Ashley (Female): Surgical PCU. I think I had one more. Oh, OR. I get oriented into all these different places. They want to make me well rounded, which is wonderful, but I have a very long orientation, so that’s really exciting. I really do see myself becoming a nurse practitioner down the road. I had an internship in Minnesota and I got to shadow a nurse practitioner and I loved that too. It’s so much-

Jon (Male): Was it like a hospital nurse practitioner or like clinic?

Ashley (Female): Yeah. It was in the specialties. I was on the Onc unit.

Jon (Male): Oh cool.

Ashley (Female): I followed … she did immunology. I followed her for the day. Onc was my first love. Then I kind of fell into the hearts.

Jon (Male): I won’t say what hospital you got hired to. Ashley got hired to one of the top ten hospitals in the country. That’s so fantastic. You get to rotate through all these units and see how the process works. Hopefully that gets rid of some of that cattiness and back biting that can happen between units in the hospital, maybe. Hopefully.

Ashley (Female): Oh yeah. [inaudible 00:18:48]

Jon (Male): Cardiac surgery PCU. Would you like to work as a cardiac NP or an intensive care NP eventually?

Ashley (Female): I guess I’ll have to see where the road goes. I honestly at first thought I wanted to do critical care nursing. I am really pretty driven for that, but my parents are both … I’m adopted, well I guess I’m an orphan, but my family, they’re both teachers so they kind of push education, so someday I kind of see myself getting a masters in education. As part of my job I have to do so many certifications [crosstalk 00:19:27] already. Really the first year I think I walk out with 15 certifications required.

Jon (Male): Wow. That’s [crosstalk 00:19:39].

Ashley (Female): I’ll be studying a lot.

Jon (Male): I know that’s incredibly overwhelming right now to even think about, but getting certified within your specialty is so much better than studying for the NCLEX. Trust me. As you’re studying for your certification, you start learning more and you start becoming more hands on and you start feeling like you’re part of that team. It get’s you to a level that you can start communicating better with the physicians as you learn your specialty. That’s fantastic. I know it’s still probably very overwhelming to you with everything else.

Ashley (Female): Oh yeah. I haven’t even started my first day yet and I’m overwhelmed. I’m like, “Man I have so much to do.” It’s like an exciting, happy time. I’m like, “Oh yes, I am a nurse.”

Jon (Male): I’m excited, but this is terrible.

Ashley (Female): Yeah. Oh my God, so much to do. Jon, I do want to tell you one of my future goals, maybe in the next five or ten years, have you ever heard of the Nightingale Award?

Jon (Male): Nightingale Award. I don’t think I’ve heard of that one.

Ashley (Female): Each state represents certain nurses every year for being advocate or leadership or volunteering, so forth. That’s one of my career goals is to get that.

Jon (Male): That’s awesome. Okay, I just-

Ashley (Female): Look it up and then we can chat about it.

Jon (Male): I just Googled it. I’ll have to look into that. I haven’t heard about that. That’s great. That’s good. It’s good to have those goals in your career too, otherwise nursing really can start dragging you down and that’s just coming from experience working on the floor. All the politics and everything within a hospital can become a huge weight, so having that bigger vision of something that you want to do. For me, it was this, the NRSNG thing, this bigger vision of educating nursing students. I think for you, you already have that goal and that vision where hopefully everything within nursing and working in a hospital doesn’t bring you down.

Ashley (Female): I’ve seen nurses that become jaded. That’s really sad. I’m like, “Gosh, what happened to you?”

Jon (Male): It can happen incredibly quick. I work in a pretty big and busy ICU where there’s a lot of death and there’s a lot of under staffing and [inaudible 00:22:02] because of how difficult it is. We’ll have nurses that only last, out of school, a month or two just because it can really weigh you down. I feel for those nurses because they put the same amount of effort and time and energy into getting this license and then it’s gone. I think part of it, maybe, is obviously the hospital could revamp the way they educate and train nurses, but part of it I think too is having that bigger vision of what this is and what it can be.

Ashley (Female): By far.

Jon (Male): Let’s get into your NCLEX studying and things like that. Take me to that first time. We’re going to dwell on it just for a minute. I don’t want to break you down or anything.

Ashley (Female): I knew I was going to open up some wounds today, but I’m doing this for the greater good.

Jon (Male): Well I appreciate it.

Ashley (Female): You’re welcome.

Jon (Male): You were working as a tech of some sort when you took the NCLEX the first time, is that right?

Ashley (Female): That’s right.

Jon (Male): You were close with your cohort, your classmates and everything?

Ashley (Female): Oh yeah.

Jon (Male): You were getting the stories back that people were passing and starting their jobs. You go, you take the NCLEX the first time and you don’t pass. How did you cope with and handle expressing that to your … you already had a job too. How did you approach all this and all those people without … because it had to be done. How did you do it without and have the courage to do it?

Ashley (Female): First off I would say I broke down after the NCLEX because I think you’re so pent up from studying so much that you just have to get it off your system. It was so stressful and all that pressure with people around you and constantly leaving. I’m a very slow test taker. You’ll find out later in the story kind of what I ended up finding out about myself. I had to really take a week and self reflect, and really ask myself, “Is this worth it?” I did all this work, what went wrong. Finally when I got my results back, because obviously every nursing student wants to pay to get there quick results, so I knew within three days and I just saw on that line, fail. My heart almost stopped beating. I’m like, “Wow what happened?” I had to really think deeply. I’m like, “Is something wrong with me?” “Am I not smart?” “What am I going to do?” I really had to collect myself. When I actually started talking to my nurse manager who is now my official nurse manager he was so positive and he told me, “Ashley, don’t give up. You’ve gone through so much work. This happens all the time. I hear stories all the time about this. You’re not the first one. You’re going to get through this and you’re going to call me when you pass. Just tell me your schedule, what you’re thinking and we’ll go from there. It’s not a big deal.” Honestly from that, that was the hugest phone call that I had to make because that was really so much weight lifted off my shoulders, but it felt good.

Jon (Male): Were you afraid they were going to rescind their offer and say-

Ashley (Female): Oh yeah, I felt like [crosstalk 00:25:41].

Jon (Male): “Well clearly you’re not good enough for us.”

Ashley (Female): Exactly. I already had so much pressure from my family and just where I’m going for my new job that I was miserable. I was shaking trying to make this phone call. I remember sitting outside my house. It was sunshine out. I was like, “Thank the lord it’s not gloomy. I just need to be positive about this.” I felt so supported that it helped. I ended up only telling a few of my friends because I was so sad. You almost don’t want to share it with people that you failed, because you feel-

Jon (Male): Like a failure.

Ashley (Female): Yeah. You do. You start to think it.

Jon (Male): You blame yourself.

Ashley (Female): Then you feel that your classmates will make fun of you or that they question if you’re going to be a good nurse and you start to create all these webs and certain negativity and it just storms. You’re like, “Stop. I’m creating a story. I can’t do this. I’m not going to think about this. That’s their journey, where they are going. This is mine.” Really I had to take responsibility and be like “All right, I must have not been well prepared. I probably took it too lightly. I need to rethink my strategy for life right now.” It took a lot. The first time was the worst. Then the next couple of times got a little better. It still hurt. The first one was like a knife to my chest.

Jon (Male): You have to wait, is it like 45 days between each test or something like that? Is that the rules?

Ashley (Female): Mm-hmm (affirmative)- [inaudible 00:27:35]

Jon (Male): Between these three attempts you’re seeing your friends starting their jobs, working in hospitals and things.

Ashley (Female): Yeah. I’m hearing stories.

Jon (Male): They’re doing all the cool stuff.

Ashley (Female): It’s painful. Exactly. I’m like, I have to stay here and watch your Facebook posts, or my friends that are nurses tell me about their days or where life is and I feel stuck, like wow I’m lost. I can’t believe I didn’t pass the NCLEX.

Jon (Male): What specific things did you do to keep yourself motivated and positive? You had to remain positive just to get through life. We’re talking [inaudible 00:28:17] several years worth of time. How did you keep yourself going toward this?

Ashley (Female): I inevitably did a lot of cross fit because I needed to get that out of my system. My mental health needed to be a lot better. I stuck to my closest friends and I didn’t worry about everyone else. I honestly kind of went off social media. I just kind of took everything that was negative in my life and I threw it away. I’m like, “You know what, I’m going to get through this. This is a storm and I have got to persevere.” I still worked but I worked part time and I focused solely on the NCLEX. I was adamant, I’m like, “No this will not beat me down.”

Jon (Male): Absolutely. I can only feel for you. I can imagine how … because we’ve all had failures and things like that, but for a failure to carry on for … and I’m sorry, I’m going to call it for a failure-

Ashley (Female): Go ahead just say it.

Jon (Male): For lack of a better word, if that works. To fail for a year, most people never experience that. I think it’s incredibly inspiring that you kept that focus and that determination for that long. I don’t personally know if I could have done that, honestly. I commend you. I think there’s so many out there that kind of remain in the shadows with this. They might post a link or two on all nurses or something about failing, but they kind of try to keep in the shadows or give up. I think that’s just so incredible that you were able to stick with it for that long. That’s amazing. It really is.

Ashley (Female): Thank you.

Jon (Male): Tell us what study materials and what study guides, plans, eventually do you believe worked the best for you?

Ashley (Female): I probably tried everything under the sun. I can tell you what really was awesome for me. Some people might not agree with me but that’s okay. Whatever makes them happy.

Jon (Male): Different strokes for different folks. Right?

Ashley (Female): Exactly. I tried [Hurst 00:30:40] and I tried Caplan and those did not work for me. I realized after my third time, okay mnemonics don’t help and I can’t [crosstalk 00:30:54] some [inaudible 00:30:55] strategy to help me get through this.

Jon (Male): I promise we didn’t rehearse this. I didn’t ask you at all before, but thank you. Mnemonics just tick me off because they don’t teach you the material. You don’t understand with the mnemonic. Go ahead.

Ashley (Female): You honestly, you have got to learn your content.

Jon (Male): You do.

Ashley (Female): If you don’t understand it or if you can’t even teach it, you need to go back through and revamp what you just did.

Jon (Male): Right, during the middle of a code you can’t be running a mnemonic in your head to save a patient. You’ve got to understand what the heck is going on.

Ashley (Female): Exactly, I wrote probably 500 flash cards, I would say. In this whole one year aspect, I really … I also took ATI and I took, what’s that test called? I took many standardized tests and they told me I was at passing level. That was encouraging.

Jon (Male): This was before you took the first time or like-

Ashley (Female): This is after the second and third. I realized, I’m like, “Why am I nearly passing, but on standardized tests I’m getting it?” That’s what kind of weirded me out. You sent me, on your blog or podcast that you sent me, Prioritization, Delegation, Assignment. That’s a gold mine.

Jon (Male): Isn’t that? That’s the best of [crosstalk 00:32:33]

Ashley (Female): Really it is the best.

Jon (Male): Oh yeah. I’ve look at trying to recreate that and I don’t. I don’t even try. It is the best book for those.

Ashley (Female): Everyone should purchase that. If you can take those questions and get them right-

Jon (Male): You’re golden.

Ashley (Female): NCLEX will be a breeze.

Jon (Male): It is. I believe that.

Ashley (Female): Truly. Those are the hardest questions I ever took.

Jon (Male): They really are. In that book there’s a lot of those questions.

Ashley (Female): I loved it. I went through the whole book. I went through … I did all of [Sonder’s 00:33:04] comprehension. I dug through a ton of things. It probably, actually, my [med surge 00:33:09] is probably awesome now. I have such a broad spectrum-

Jon (Male): Knowledge.

Ashley (Female): I also, I took … so medications, I think I went through the majority of your NRSNG podcast because there’s so many drugs and I hate drugs. I have a very poor memory.

Jon (Male): You’ll come to love them, don’t worry, you will.

Ashley (Female): I really struggled. I remember after my second or third time, one or the other, after I had gone through your whole medication course, I improved completely. I was above the passing level.

Jon (Male): You mean the podcast or the course?

Ashley (Female): I did both.

Jon (Male): Great. Good. That’s good, I’m glad that it [crosstalk 00:34:01]. Good.

Ashley (Female): When you’re desperate you’ll do anything.

Jon (Male): Good.

Ashley (Female): That was really a key for me. I also reviewed a Caplan stuff, but I mostly just went through med surge and tried to understand where I was. After you fail so many times you start to realize what’s weak for you or what areas on the NCLEX were awful. For me, basic care and comfort was terrible.

Jon (Male): Really. Interesting.

Ashley (Female): Even though I was near passing on everything, I couldn’t some how grasp it. Like how to walk with a cane. Weird stuff like that, where I’m like, “How am I going to teach that or remember that?” There were some things I just, I don’t know.

Jon (Male): It didn’t click.

Ashley (Female): Well I don’t know why it wouldn’t stick. Those were the best for me. The last thing I did was probably one of the cheapest things you could have done, would have saved me thousands of money. I went to National Council, NCSBN. The official owners of the NCLEX and I did their course. That was awesome. It was so much cheaper than everything I paid for. Over a year of time. It gave me what I needed.

Jon (Male): It’s very condensed, it’s very-

Ashley (Female): Very condensed-

Jon (Male): It’s very bullet pointed of the different things. On all the flashcards you made, what were you putting on those flashcards? What was on the front and back? How did they work for you?

Ashley (Female): I did systems. I had to make sure that I understand how the whole system worked. I would break a system down. I would break down cardiac. I would break down neurology. I would break down fluid and electrolytes. I honestly worked it through. I would just kind of do … for fluid and electrolytes I just did F and E. Then on the front part I would put fluids. I just did isotonic and all the rest of them. I would think in my head, and say it out loud to myself, what are these and what do they do? That really helped me.

Jon (Male): Okay. So you’re just making yourself talk through the details behind it.

Ashley (Female): I talked it through and then I would make sure that I understood how it worked. I mean cellularly was great, but just how it worked with a patient. I’m like, “Okay, why would I give this? Because they’re dehydrated. Because they have severe burns.” Really think about it. I really had to stretch myself.

Jon (Male): You’re right. That’s the critical thinking. Right? [crosstalk 00:36:49] would say what’s an isotonic fluid, that’s simple, but what conditions, and why for those conditions? I think that connection is lost in nursing schools a lot.

Ashley (Female): Oh it’s so bad.

Jon (Male): We teach memorization and that’s not what you need.

Ashley (Female): No.

Jon (Male): You need to know why this fluid works for that.

Ashley (Female): I loved my program. We’re ranked number one in the state. I walked out of there and I don’t think I knew how to critically think. Honestly, I think I had all this material and all this knowledge, but I couldn’t piece it together. It had to take me a year to really understand it. That’s killer. It just kills me saying that because they’re wonderful. I loved my program, but-

Jon (Male): No but I think that’s one of the big problems in my mind personally with the nursing education is that we love to say critically think, we love that word, we love it, it’s such a good word-

Ashley (Female): But can you do it-

Jon (Male): But what does that mean? Teach me. What does that mean. You’re telling me that from day one but what does that mean? How do I do it? Instead of that, we’re shoving mnemonics at you and memorization lists. I think that needs to be cut out and we need to be saying, this is what these are. Once you have all those things learned and understood I think mnemonics have a place, but not until you know what you’re talking about.

Ashley (Female): Exactly. I mean heck even though [inaudible 00:38:07] you don’t know a certain drug and what it’s going to do, you just know the mnemonic, that will never help you.

Jon (Male): It’s never going to save you.

Ashley (Female): It just hurt to know that I had to teach myself critical thinking. It’s good. I take pride in it and I’m very happy that I got through this. I believe nursing schools need to be revamped, completely.

Jon (Male): Yes. I agree 100%. I do think the book Prioritization, Delegation, and Assignment helps with teaching, critically thinking a little bit if you read through all those rationales. We’re working on, we’re trying to develop some sort of course or videos or things to really teach it. I really think that’s missing out there. Let’s say you could rewind the clock 18 months. You can go back to last June or something. What three study resources would you give yourself?

Ashley (Female): Delegation, Prioritization, Assignment, hands down. I would do the NCSBN course, just to help refresh yourself and then I would listen to your podcasts on medications. Simple.

Jon (Male): Exactly. If you work hard in school, if you find a system that works and what helps you, just finding those resources that help with that or encourage that I guess would be a good way to go. You’ve been working in the health care field for a while now and you’ve had time to kind of think about where you want to go with nursing, but can you think back and share one of your most memorable nursing experiences, whether as a student or a tech or whatever.

Ashley (Female): As a nursing student?

Jon (Male): Either way. Whatever. Just a memorable experience with a patient or whatever. Something that really sticks out.

Ashley (Female): I was in Minnesota and I was working on the Onc floor and I had this patient who had a very rare osteosarcoma in the spine. She was my age, which was really shocking to me because I never thought I would deal with patients that were my age. It was a really bittersweet moment, because she was diagnosed in December, had a child in January, and then when I met her in May she was struggling really bad. She really opened up to me in a way that I have never felt with anyone yet. I think I will get to that point when I am a nurse, but she really moved me. I remember her telling me, she’s like, “Ashley, nobody understands why I want to die.” I told her, “Look you are in the worst pain you could possibly be.” She had drips of Ketamine. She had a spinal tap. She had probably every line that you could think of that she was running. She told me, “I’m miserable and everybody wants me to keep living.” She’s like, “I think I’ll be happier when I die.” I told her, “This is your choice and you don’t have to do anything. God will provide. He is going to help you get through this no matter what happens and you have got to believe in yourself.” We would talk about Pinterest and have like-

Jon (Male): Just girly talk.

Ashley (Female): I got down to her level and was able to meet her needs without having to stretch myself or be an adult or be someone that I’m not. I can just be who I am at that point. It was amazing. We just matched so well, so every time I would work she would make sure I was on and I would get her as my patient. I struggled with boundaries obviously, because I’m super connected to her and she passed away actually right after I went back home to Colorado. It was one of those moments where I just knew, I’ve made a difference in her life. She wrote me a letter before she died about how she was so thankful that I was there for her during that time. It moved me. There’s things that you stick on to in nursing and that’s definitely one of them. It encourages me.

Jon (Male): Absolutely. There so much in that story that I think could make solo podcast episodes. I think that’s a fantastic story.

Ashley (Female): I was 23 and I had to really absorb all that.

Jon (Male): That’s hard. That’s a lot.

Ashley (Female): It was a lot. It is. It changes you.

Jon (Male): I think that things that happen, I’m not an incredibly political person or anything like that, but I think that things that happen in the world in politics and in the U.S. and things like that, when you come at it from a nursing perspective and having seen things like that, in and out, day in and out, every time you go to work you’re actually dealing with death. I think that it changes the way that you see a lot of things. I think a lot of our friends who aren’t nurses just can’t get it. There’s no way that they can even understand what we do or what we see.

Ashley (Female): It’s just so hard to get them to grasp what I do every day. I’m like, no, really, [yolo 00:44:09].

Jon (Male): Seriously guys.

Ashley (Female): It really means something. I’m not trying to be a teenager but life if so precious.

Jon (Male): It is.

Ashley (Female): We take it for granted.

Jon (Male): We do. I think I’ve shared this story several times before, but the one patient that sticks out to me more than anyone else was a guy that was about my age, he was my age exactly, our birthdays were like a week apart. He had a daughter that was the same age as my daughter, a year old at the time. He had a very strange, rare pathology in the brain that caused hydrocephalus to the point that the neurosurgeons and neurologists, the infectious diseases docs could not diagnose what it was, but he ended up herniating and dying. I was with that family for three days, in and out every night with them, with their husband, their son, their brother. Seeing pictures of his little daughter that didn’t get to tell her dad goodbye and being. I’m still friends with the family on Facebook. In situations like that I just don’t believe necessarily in boundaries. I have to be able to separate myself and be able to move on with my life, but I was there for that family and they provided a life changing experience for me as well. People can’t understand that.

Ashley (Female): We’re such a different breed too, to think that. I got invited to her funeral. Most people don’t get invited to those things but we do, we go to the baby ceremonies, baby showers I guess that’s what you call it. We’re so a part of their lives that it transforms us, but I think it transforms them too.

Jon (Male): For sure. I did another episode too where I talked about compassion [inaudible 00:46:03] I think. I talked about what is it about us as nurses that motivates us to be in this time of life with people? Is it audacious? Is it compassion? What is it? Why are we putting ourselves in that situation? These people will never forget us and we’ll never forget them. It’s such a … after that patient when I drove home from work I actually went to my parents house. It was after a night shift and I was exhausted and I went to my parents house and I told them, “I love you guys.” It was like, like you said [crosstalk 00:46:40] it’s like holy crap, that could … this wasn’t because this guy was obese, it wasn’t because he was drinking and got it an accident. It wasn’t because a lot of the things I see in a Neuro ICU, it was because no one knew. He was just my age and had a daughter my daughter’s age. It’s like holy crap, that could have been me right there, right now.

Ashley (Female): Mind blown. Exactly. I could have been Hannah who was my patient, that could have been me. I could have lived that life, but some how I’m still here.

Jon (Male): Exactly.

Ashley (Female): It goes to your core.

Jon (Male): It really does.

Ashley (Female): I guess I truly believe if you’re going to be here on this earth you need to make someone’s life better.

Jon (Male): I agree.

Ashley (Female): I think that’s what draws our type of people, are drawn to nursing.

Jon (Male): Maybe that’s what it is. My job before nursing, I was a buyer for a large sporting goods store. I would go to work at 9:00, come home at 5:00 and sit in my desk all day buying golf balls from Asia. I’d go home ticked off every night. I’d look forward to Friday every day and then on Sunday I was already depressed for the coming week. That changed the moment I started nursing school. That was gone. I was doing something good. Even if it was just for one small thing, one patient says thank you or gives you a Christmas card or whatever it is, it does change you. I’m glad that you decided to stick with it. You clearly have a tremendous amount of passion and it seems like you’re really in the right spot.

Ashley (Female): Thank you. It really took a lot. I did question myself so many times.

Jon (Male): Yes. Well good for you. We’ve been talking about an hour now all ready.

Ashley (Female): Oh really. [inaudible 00:48:28]

Jon (Male): Tell me, what one piece of parting advice would you give to someone who is struggling to pass the NCLEX?

Ashley (Female): There’s two things that I really hold on to this day and that I also held on to at the NCLEX. It’s called the four P’s. Have you heard of it?

Jon (Male): I don’t know.

Ashley (Female): Maybe. Patience. Positivity. Prayer. Perseverance. First off, as a nursing student you are your hardest critic because sometimes we’re pretty perfectionism, and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves. I would say strive for progress but not perfection. This quote was probably my favorite of all time. “You have only to decide upon what it is you want and then stay with it, never deviating from your course no matter how long it takes, or how rough the road until you’ve accomplished it. Winners simply do what losers don’t want to do. Success is largely a matter of holding on after others have let go.” That would be my two biggest things to think about. Don’t give up. Never give up. Never give in.

Jon (Male): Would you mind sending me that quote?

Ashley (Female): Oh absolutely.

Jon (Male): Then I can post it on [inaudible 00:50:11]. I think it’s hard to look back on trials and really be happy for them. I don’t know who you were a year ago but from our conversation, this is the first time we’ve talked, but it seems like you’re in a very good place and you’re going to be able to do a lot with nursing.

Ashley (Female): I almost think of my experience as in like a really rough storm, like in a boat. You can’t have a perfect storm, to be a skilled sailor. Whatever purpose it was for me to fail the NCLEX three times, it really has blessed me and I feel like a better woman from it, after a year. I can’t believe I’m saying that. But really I do. I feel like it strengthened me.

Jon (Male): Just never let your license lapse so you never have to take it again.

Ashley (Female): Yeah.

Jon (Male): Seriously thank you very much for coming on. I’m excited for what you’re going to be doing in the coming years with nursing. Thanks for listening to the NRSNG NCLEX Prep broadcast [inaudible 00:51:21] at NRSNG.com. We’ll catch you next time.

Date Published - Nov 12, 2015
Date Modified - Jul 20, 2017

Jon Haws RN

Written by Jon Haws RN

Jon Haws RN began his nursing career at a Level I Trauma ICU in DFW working as a code team nurse, charge nurse, and preceptor. Frustrated with the nursing education process, Jon started NRSNG in 2014 with a desire to provide tools and confidence to nursing students around the globe. When he's not busting out content for NRSNG, Jon enjoys spending time with his two kids and wife.

38 Comments

  1. carlacribb

    nurse/ashley
    I have been feeling bad about failing for the 2nd time. It is nice to read about others and to know I am not alone. I love what was said, ” Don’t let the NCLEX determine how you feel about yourself” I have been feeling like a looser and that maybe nursing isn’t for me. Maybe I won’t make a good nurse if I can’t pass the NCLEX!!! It has been a 9 year journey for me. I had kids at home when I started and took classes when I could. I finally graduated May 6th 2017 with my BSN. I have a lot of distractions and need a lot of encouragement. So, thank you, I am glad I found the NRSG and have found encouraging stories like Ashley’s

    Reply
  2. Kristen Sillivent

    Ashley and Jon,

    Thank you for recording this. My brother sent this to me yesterday, because I just found out that I failed the NCLEX for the second time. When you guys were talking about how the people that fail the NCLEX go into the shadows and hide and that is where I am at. I find it hard because ALL of my classmates have passed the NCLEX and are moving on in their careers. The majority of them also have a job, and I am stuck in the same spot that I have been in since I graduated. If there are any suggestions you have I would greatly appreciate it. I am the ONLY person in my class that failed the NCLEX the first time and the second. I beleive my problem is knowing exactly what the questions is asking and my anxiety. I would greatly appreciate anything you guys have to offer.

    Reply
  3. Annonymous

    Ashley and Jon,
    I am so grateful for have coming across this podcast. I found out today that I failed the NCLEX for the third time. Out of the 4o students from my graduating class, I think about 6 or 7 of us didn’t pass the first time, but everyone did their second time, and here I am, failed my third time. It is devastating, and it is incredibly heartbreaking. I also graduated with a 3.8 GPA, high honors, worked my ass of for four years, obviously, just like everyone else, you have to in order to make it through nursing school. It’s hard not to feel like a failure, and it’s hard not to wonder if you can even be a safe nurse at this point, or if you should just look for a different career.
    Anyway, I am very grateful for you both sharing this with the world. Thank you.

    Reply
  4. Sherri Bella Rickett

    I found the live session to be very informative . I wish i woudhave found you sooner. I will be letting my fellow nurses about you. Looking for the pdf link to Purchase the academy. Also wanted to download the 11 steps that was cover during the podcast.

    Thank you very much.

    Reply
  5. Courtney

    I can’t tell you how inspiring this podcast was for me…I recently failed my NCLEX for the second time and (as I’m sure you understand), am feeling defeated! I will never give up because I am so passionate about nursing, but I’m unsure of where to go from here. I have used the so-called ‘best’ preparation books and really felt confident the second time around so finding out I didn’t pass was disappointing to say the least. It takes a lot of courage to share your story and I appreciate your feedback!

    Reply
  6. Patterson

    Hello I seriously need help I did exceptional in nursing school but Iam unsuccessful on nclex every time I’m so discouraged and heart broken and have no idea what to do should I give up?

    Reply
  7. Clayton

    Ashley,

    I thoroughly enjoyed your podcast. It struck home to me and I really needed to hear that. I have taken the NCLEX 4 times now and each time I improve more and more. After this last attempt I received my “results” showing me what areas I need to improve on. I was at the passing standard and above the passing standard on every category. This exam has frustrated me to the point of debating pursuing another career. I work in CVICU as a tech currently, until I pass my boards, and it is very frustrating seeing your friends go on and you are left behind. It is a blow to your confidence. I have always wanted to become a CRNA. Your podcast has helped motivate me and encourage me to finish strong and achieve my end goal. Thank you!

    Reply
  8. Helen

    I graduated with a GPA of 3.6. I have 3 honor certificates & 1 perfect attendance. I tutor CNA & LPN who have used my strategies to take & pass boards. I just retook my boards the 3rd time & my state only allows you to take it 3 times and then refresher course. I m going crazy, insane. I don’t want to talk to anyone including my husband & my mom. I prayed, fasted & studied. The first time my computer cut off at 151, 2nd 85 & 3rd 85. I m called to be a nurse so I won’t quit. I need help in snapping out of this depressed mood. I graduated in 2015 October. I have so many job offering. Tomorrow I celebrate my birthday but 2nd birthday in a row which is horrible.

    Reply
    • Jon Haws

      Jon Haws

      I’m so sorry to hear about your struggle. Please don’t give up. Keep pushing. Keep at it. Please use all the resources we offer to help in your journey!

      Reply
  9. Anjali Mathew

    Hi… I m Anjali Mathew from India.i didn’t know in abroad nursing profession is facing same problem we are facing in India.four year of b.sc nursing was like some military training.proffesors will be partial for their favorite ones rest of students are like some trash.. The biggest problem of this profession is that v don’t support each other.. More than practical n realistic approach they believe in writing assignments…at some point I lost my confidence to be a good nurse but then I diverted my mind n thought of smile people have after I help them and cure them… In India v get only 15000 rs that is something around 200 dollars in private hospitals.nurses need to unite and help each other.

    Reply
  10. Jenna

    Hi Ashley, I just took the NCLEX for the third time and found out that I failed again. I googled “I failed the NCLEX 3 times” and came across your podcast and it made me feel so much better and inspired me because I feel everything that you have felt throughout your experiences. It has been difficult for me to hear my friends who are all working as nurses talk about their jobs. I even did CrossFit too in order to get rid of my stress! This podcast has definitely showed me that I’m not the only one who fails and to not give up! Thank you so much!

    Reply
  11. Alexis

    Ashley,
    Thank you for telling us your story. I’ve wanted to be a nurse for 14 years now, and I thought it was my calling. That is until I failed the nclex again for the third time just last week. I am in such a horrible place, and I felt the same way you did. I still sit and wonder if this truly is my calling. I know it is, but getting out of a dark hole is going to be hard. And you’ve helped me realize its possible. So thank you for sharing your story, and I can only hope that my nclex story will come to an end soon.

    Reply
    • Jon Haws

      Jon Haws

      Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story as well. There is no ONE path to RN . . . we all take a different path. Keep at it and you will achieve your dream.

      Reply
  12. Dan

    Hi Jon,
    I am an Australian RN and have failed NCLEX for second time!
    Its devastating as I have been in practice for 15years over here but NCLEX different to anything I have done before. I am booked in for NCLEX again in 9 weeks any tips for me?

    Reply
  13. Kendra

    This has been such a blessing to me tonight. I found out in May that I failed the NCLEX again. I have been trying to get bank on a study schedule so I can take it again. But it’s been a hard road. I have felt so bad about myself lately and my self confidence is at an all time low. A few weeks ago I purchased the NCSBN study program as well and it’s great but I love NRSNG videos as well. I am going to be a nurse and a better one because of this. I just need to push over this NCLEX bump in the road.

    Reply
    • Jon Haws

      Jon Haws

      Thank you so much for the kind words. Sorry to hear about the NCLEX . . I hope we are able to help you crush it next time.

      Reply
      • Kendra

        What would you recommend for someone who has a really hard time concentrating while taking the test? I start to read the questions and I start to panic because I want to get it right and then I just lose all concentration and its hard to get back on track, I focus so much on “needing to get it right” that I can’t think straight,

  14. Kela

    I’m in the exact same boat as Ashley was – failed 3x, onto my fourth. This has truly inspired me. It’s been a long, dark, and exhausting year, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I can do this. I will make it through. Thank you for sharing your story, Ashley. And thank you, Jon, for providing this. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Jon Haws RN CCRN

      Jon Haws RN CCRN

      you are very welcome. Good luck!

      Reply
    • Cherub49

      Ashley, Thank you for your story. I can completely understand how you felt. I too was in the top of my class and was devastated when I failed the NCLEX the first time. I studied even harder for the next exam, but again failed it. Crushed and embarrassed watching all my friends from school passing and getting jobs right away. My friends and family didn’t understand why I was failing when I had always exceeded in school. I never had a problem with testing but now I was failing at something we all thought was my calling. Something my family had been telling me I should have been doing for years, but now I was starting to question that. I was discouraged and apprehensive about taking the exam a third time but I was not about to give up or quit on something I worked so hard for. I studied harder than ever, sometimes 12 hours a day. I did everything my study partners suggested that had worked for them. I took the exam for the third time. I literally had an anxiety attack 20 minutes into it and thought I was going to pass out. I stopped and prayed, and prayed many times throughout the exam. I just got my results back yesterday. I FAILED AGAIN!!! The tears came down harder than before. I cried myself to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling defeated and frustrated because in the state of Florida if you fail 3 times you have to take a remedial course which I found will cost me approximately $2,000 which is very expensive for me. I started to lose hope but then I read your article and you inspired me to stay strong and not give up. Thank you so much for opening up to the world about your struggle with NCLEX. You are giving people like me the hope, strength and encouragement to keep on going. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

      Reply
      • Jon Haws

        Jon Haws

        Kela . . .

        So sorry to hear your story. I am glad that Ashley’s story was able to provide some light in this time. I am glad you found NRSNG. Please keep us updated on your journey.

        -Jon

  15. Rebecca

    I LOVE hearing everyones stories and know I am not alone…..Although, I still feel defeated! I failed the NCLEX twice. Both times completely motivated, studied all different ways, and materials. Its been two years post graduation, and almot two years since i last took it. I feel so defeated that i cry almost every day, i have brain fog, and so unmotivated. I am very lost and dont know what to do. I have always been a horrible test taker, so I now feel i will never pass. Please help me! Thank you.

    Reply
    • Gurinder

      I feel ur pain… im gonna be taking my exam for the second time…. im an asian so failing every exam is like an invitation to massive amounts of ridicule. Anyways keep at it , and dont give up im sure ull do fine. If u need help with figuring out stuff feel free to message me.

      Reply
    • wendy

      Rebecca, I honestly understand you completely!! Ever since I was little I’ve wanted to work in the medical field. My parents struggled so much and we had to constantly move because my dad went from job to job. I feel like this has affected me so much because I never had a stable education and would always struggle in school. My parents are Hispanic and so they couldn’t help me with my homework and I never build a good study routine so this has affected me in college/nursing school. I have had to repeat one year in nursing school and it seems like there are soooo sooo many things distracting me and preventing from keeping my head up and focus. I’ve had to take anti anxiety/depressant meds because at one point I didn’t want to exist, I didn’t want to go though the cycle of failure over and over again and to disappoint my parents and my self. I also have a very bad memory and cognitive thinking (maybe because I never learned how to do it or maybe i was just born stupid, idk :/) but I recently failed my first Adult health II exam over cardiac, and this really brought me down, but I keep telling my self not to give up but sometimes it’s so hard to keep motivated when you’ve bee a failure most of you life. Any tips or motivational comments?

      Reply
  16. Donna Callison LVN

    I am so thankful that I stumbled across this web site and your story Ashley! I have been a licensed LPN/LVN for 13 years, and in 4 different states. My children were 18 months, 3 1/2, 7, and 10 years old when I started nursing school. I tested out after my father died of a heart attack during 2nd semester of an RN program…. well, 13 years and 4 states later, I am finding myself scared to go back to school. Scared of failing. I know better, I know I have to try, maybe fail, before I can succeed at anything! I want to continue my education further, beyond RN, so that I may teach nursing at some point. I love to orient new nurses and ask them questions that make them think about why they are doing whatever task they are doing.
    Reading your story has been an inspiration for me! Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  17. Teresa

    Thanks for sharing! This story is sooo me but mine is worse however it is STILL UPLIFTING!! I have been unsuccessful 3 times, and during that time I have lost my dad, 2 aunties, 1st cousin and now I have learned my uncle is now terminally ill and for all I have named, I was very close to them all. My family is very close-knitted and I have been assisting and caring for them all during this course as well as also trying to keep it together and studying. It has been challenging but I have always went to church as I still do and I know that I must keep plunging at it and when God say its time …then it will be my time, I have the faith but I must admit I get discouraged and feel as if I am the only one that have made many attempts and not been successful so THANK YOU for sharing your story and even the replies have also gave my encouragement and hope. And I also THANK Jon Haws for his wonderful work that he is doing for the nursing students….you all are amazing!
    Thanks again! 🙂

    Reply
  18. Jimmie Secrest

    This story is exactly me!!!!! I have taken the test twice now and have failed it both times, and have had to tell my DON I had failed both times and it was devastating. I take my test on Monday January 4th. This helped boost my confidence but more importantly made me remember that this test is not my “Life” its only a milestone. It helped me remember the reason I went into nursing in the first place. Thank you for telling your story. Your story is truly an inspiration and I thank you!!!!

    Reply
    • Jon Haws RN CCRN

      Jon Haws RN CCRN

      You are exactly right in saying ” this test is not my “Life” its only a milestone.” too many people tie their entire self worth to the NCLEX . . . it is simply the right of passage into nursing and does NOT define you. You can pass . . . learn from each failure, dust yourself off, and go at it again!

      Reply
  19. Meghan

    Ashley’s story is literally me right now! Graduated in May and failed twice now. All my friends have nursing jobs and I have to hear about them daily and it is painful. Hoping round 3 will be the charm!! This story is literally exactly what I’m dealing with now, inspiring!

    Reply
  20. Cherie

    Hi Ashley, l listened to your pod cast this morning(2:30am) you really inspired me I have been out of school for two yrs and failed my PN board twice. It has really did a number on me. I am really embarrassed to say that I am afraid to take it again because of being scared to fail. I think it was in Gods plan for me to come across your pod cast today, it has given me the courage to keep going and to continue my journey as an RN. Thank you sooo sooo much for your story and encouragement. Once I pass my board I will be sending you another message letting you knw the good news. I’m claiming it “I WILL PASS THIS TIME!!”

    Reply